Pro Rege Papers

I found this recently on a site I was browsing. It’s a satire on Post-Modernism written by a Christian on the basis of the Westminster Shorter Catechism. While some of it is of course not reflective of the beliefs of Post-Modernists; it is pretty funny if you know the Shorter Catechism and the way many Post-Modernists talk.

Here’s a little sampling of the Post Modern Medium-Length Catechism:

Q1: What is the chief end of humankind?
A: Humankind’s chief end is to promote world peace and enjoy it forever.

Q9: What is the first commandment?
A: The first commandment is, Thou shalt make no Absolute Judgments.

Q10: What is the second commandment?
A: The second is like unto it: Thou shalt accept all views as thine own, and be not Bigoted.

Q11: Are we ourselves Bigoted in our thinking?
A: Not at all.

Q12: Not at all?
A: No.

Q13: Not even a little bit?
A: No.

Q14: No?
A: Absolutely not.

Q15: What is the only redeemer of postmoderns?
A: The only redeemer of postmoderns is the Lord High State, which though the coercer of men, condescended to feel our pain, and so was, and continueth to be, coercer and pain-feeler, in two distinct natures, and one administration, forever.

Q23: What is the duty of civil government?
A: The duty of civil government is, in matters important, clemency; in matters unimportant, severity; in all things, neutrality.

Q24: What is the principal threat to neutrality in the civil realm?
A: The principal threat to neutrality is Religious Extremism.

Q25: What is Religious Extremism?
A: Religious Extremism is, the view that certain absolute truths exist independent of the minds of men and women, that if something is true, it is true, and that A and not-A cannot both be true at the same time and in the same sense.

Q26: Who are the two most dangerous proponents of Religious Extremism?
A: The two most dangerous proponents of Religious Extremism are Jerry Falwell and Rush Limbaugh.

Q27: By what means may we defeat Religious Extremism?
A: We may defeat it by allowing it to make no Judgments in the civil realm.

Q28: Is this itself a Religious Judgment?
A: Nope.

Q29: Not at all?
A: Not at all.

Q30: Art thou sure?
A: Absolutely.

Q32: What are the Liberal Churches?
A: The Liberal Churches are those churches which, to avoid conflict with non-Christian thought, and to maintain a High Level of Relevance, have rejected certain Minor points of faith.

Q33: Wherein consisteth the worship of Liberal Churches?
A: Liberal worship consisteth in tolerance, affirmation, lighting of candles, experiencing of religious experience, and the consumption of Goodies.

Full text here:

A Post-Modern Medium Length Catechism.

Comparison with the real stuff here:

The Real Westminster Shorter Catechism.